Refocus on Your Family

It’s still early in the year to add one more goal to your list: refocus on your family. Regardless of what “family” means to you, we can agree that the concept of family has lost its value. But family is the center of a healthy society. Strong families create strong societies. Not belonging to a family is unsustainable, nonproductive, and harmful to human beings. We are meant to have a family. Therefore, this year I encourage you to refocus on your family—both at home and at work.

Business leaders refer to their coworkers as their family. Successful leaders care about their “work family” with the same passion as their “home family.” Having a healthy family at home impacts an individual’s behavior at work. Similarly, a healthy family at work impacts a person’s behavior, mood, and relationships at home. So how do you refocus on your family?

Let’s explore three ways you can refocus your efforts to improve your family relationships at home and at work.

Refocus your time.

Building relations takes time. It involves quality time getting to know each other, being intentional about cultivating trust, and understanding each other’s perspectives. You cannot expect to “reap the harvest” of a great relationship with anyone when you have not “sown” into it. Therefore, invest your time now and you will see the fruit later. Once a relationship is broken, it takes even more time to rebuild it.

At home: Let’s go back to what America used to consider a “traditional family.” What did that mean? It’s the concept of one father, one mother, and children (natural and/or adopted). Spending quality time with your spouse and with each child is crucial for healthy relationships to grow. Be intentional in scheduling time with each person and truly give them your attention. Otherwise, you will always be too busy and time flies by. One day you wake up and realize you didn’t spend time with your loved one and now it’s too late. And when you do spend time together, make it meaningful time and connect. It’s amazing what we learn from others when we ask simple questions and show authentic interest in learning about them.

At work: Even though “work from home” is here to stay, you can still develop meaningful relationships at work. Apply the same concept as in the home. Schedule time with your employees to get to know them, understand their jobs better, and be a resource. Additionally, be there for them when life happens at home. During my working life, I have made life-long friendships. Nowadays workers view work relationships just as that “work only,” and are not interested in pursuing a friendship beyond work. I encourage you to sow your time into your work relationships and you will see them flourish. Your work experience will improve and be more pleasant.

Refocus your energy.

I view human beings as having three types of energy: physical, mental, and spiritual. Refocus your physical, mental, and spiritual energy towards your family—at home and at work. How do you accomplish this task when you need to be energized yourself? Let’s address first the sources of your energy:

• Physical: I get my physical energy from sleeping the number of hours my body needs and from exercising regularly. It’s interesting that people think they’re too tired to work out. However, those who don’t work out regularly don’t know that the secret to more energy is precisely to exercise regularly. Exercising restores your energy. It is a fact that with age, your body needs more time to recover. Therefore, you may need to reduce the number of consecutive days you exercise and the intensity of the workout. But never quit!
• Mental: My mental sources of energy come from reading leadership books, interacting with clients, and writing blogs such as this one. Keeping your mind busy and learning is the way to keep your brain active and energized. Choose activities that make you get into “creative mode” to increase your mental energy.
• Spiritual: This is my strongest source of energy. I get my spiritual energy from praying regularly and reading the Bible. I also write blogs to share what I learn from the Bible and from others who teach the Word of God.

At home: Refocus your energy by doing fun activities with your spouse, friends, and your children. Interestingly, it takes time to refocus your energy on activities. Therefore, you can address these two goals at the same time. For example, you can take time to play a game as a family and put away electronic devices. Or you can go for a hike together while you talk and connect. That takes physical energy, mental energy, and it could even take spiritual energy if you discuss spiritual things

At work: As a team leader, plan interactive activities with your employees where there is an opportunity to get to know each other. One idea is to play minigolf while brainstorming on ways to increase revenues. Or play a game for the best idea to improve customer service.

Refocus your treasure.

The Bible says in Matthew 6:21 (NKJV) “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” This is a true statement for everyone regardless of religious beliefs. Therefore, it is crucially important that we invest our money in activities, ventures, and organizations that align with our beliefs. Support organizations that help families. There are many of them and this includes nonprofits that help single parents or that help children succeed. Sometimes “success” for a child is simply graduating from high school and avoiding getting into drugs or gangs. Success for a single parent can mean obtaining the education needed to get a better job. Similarly, success for parents means they stayed together after suffering a terrible loss of a child.

At home: Refocus your money on memorable activities with your family. Family vacations can be expensive, but you can do it economically. You can find outdoor trips that only require bringing food for a picnic. When our kids were little, I used to take a week off with them and all we did was visit all the pools around the city. We brought picnic food and our swimsuits, and we went off to have fun. I invested in new goggles which made it even more fun! Our kids have great memories of those simple trips.

At work: Refocus the budget and allocate money for specialized training for your employees. Give them the time needed to learn more about their job or something new. Again, time is involved also when refocusing your treasure.

As I write this blog, I’m reflecting on my own life and I’m committed to refocusing my time, energy, and treasure in my family. I encourage you to refocus on your family. Refocus your time, energy, and treasure on your immediate family first and then expand to your extended family. Lastly, adopt a family member who may be left behind or lonely.